Mr. President what you are about hear is not to leave this room. What went on out there is a total secret. The evidence was destroyed, and there are no more witnesses of why the chicken crossed the road. Mr. President some great people lost their lives out there, and you aren’t going to do anything?! You need to hear the story again? Well okay here it is if I remember it correctly.

October 1st 2008 5:47am: The men were all sleeping in their bunks when the alarm sounded. The men rushed out of their bunks to see what was going on, when all of the sudden they saw a frightful sight. Their peaceful neighbors the farmers and their leaders farmer Eisenhower and farmer Washington started to march across the road weapons in hand prepared for battle and for breakfast. The men rushed for their weapons as fast as they could when their brave general Chicken Ceaser shouted to them that all men were to prepare for war. Chicken Ceasar’s second in command Chicken Tut the 1st was told to take a reserve force and protect the village. It was an awesome sight to see Chicken Ceaser Cross the road with his brave men into battle.

October 5th 2008 8:29am: Chicken Tut the 1st receives message from Chicken Ceaser that the farmers have rallied the dog general Napoleon Doggybarte and his allies the dogs and that Chicken Tut the 1st must go rally some allies or the battle will be lost. So the great Chicken Tut knew the best people to fight with them…the cats. So it was with a heavy heart that Chicken Tut the 1st set off to find the cats. When he got to the cats it wasn’t a pretty sight. The rats were fighting back against the cats. Chicken tut the 1st found the cat general Adolph Kitty-Kat and bowed down and asked for aid in their time of need. But alas Adolph refused because he found it rude that Chicken Tut would ask for help without even offering to help. So Chicken Tut struck a deal with Adolph to help if he help the cats fight the rats. So it was within this that the chickens picked up their egg launchers and feather guns and went to war. It was a monstrous fight against the rats the cats and chickens almost lost but amazingly hours later the war won and Adolph rallied his troops to set off to fight in the war for his friend’s rights to cross the road.

October 9th 2008 11:37am: Everyone in the cat ranks was prepared for war and so were Adolph Kitty-Kat and Chicken Tut the 1st. So it was with heavy hearts that they began their march across the road when all of a sudden THUD! Chicken Tut gets hit by a car and is sent flying into the air and landed with a SMACK! on the ground. With his last dying breath he asked his friend and brother yes Adolph Kitty-Kat and Chicken Tut the 1st are brothers. Adolph Kitty-Kat to promise that he would help Chicken Ceaser and Adolph said he would do everything he could to help. So with anger in his heart Adolph stormed the battlefield and delivered a crushing blow to the dogs and Napoleon Doggybarte but alas the battle was not won. Adolph knew he needed and knew just who to call. With an ear shattering whistle Adolph called his life long friend Stonewall Hawk to aid in the battle. With a mighty screech Stonewall Hawk answered and Adolph Kitty-Kat explained what was wrong over a nice cup of tea (well actually it might have been coffee but…). When Stonewall agreed to help he rallied the hawks and went to war and so fell night time.

October 13th 2008 4:30am: All was quite out on the fields that night. The people were asleep and all was well. That is until a big BOOM! Was heard out on the other side of the road, and thus woke everyone on that dreadful morning. It was such a shame to see our men dying on the other side of the road fighting for our rights and our freedom to cross the road once again. What they saw astounded them a whole army of chickens lead by Chicken Ceasar’s brother Chicken Shakespeare. And thus he let out a long battle cry and charged into battle. Several hours later the men could see the enemy retreating and they knew the battle had been won and Chicken Ceaser ran over and embraced his brother and thanked him and told him that anytime he needed help Chicken Ceaser would be there by him. The great chicken wars were over and the chickens could cross the road again. Before the men started walking back home they swore they could see Chicken Tut the 1st standing at the end of the road saluting them.

So Mr. President That is the true reason why the chicken crossed the road. What are you going to do? The president replied “I’m going home.” “What do you mean?” The president turned to reveal his face. And his face was the face of Chicken Tut the 1st and he looked out the window and said “The chicken crossed the road because they were fighting to cross the road how ironic.” And with that said he left never to be see

Barny Died last week of a severe car accident and by a severe car accident I mean he got hit by a monster truck and turned into a pancake

Oh also elmo died last week to by a bungie jumping acccident and by that i mean he got pushed out of a plane by "accident" with a spare tire for a parachute so hes died not sadly

By the way Big Bird died this week in a shoot out with his rival gang The Small Birds so he got shot 8,465,875,657 times and still lived so they shot him 373,658,756 more times so he died not so sadly